There is a certain feeling of freedom that comes from swimming out, away from land, into deep water.
I don’t experience it often. Ninety percent of my swimming is done in a 25-yard long, three-and-a-half-foot deep pool. I love that pool. That pool is my neighborhood bar, my Cheers. And as the song says, sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. But other times, you want to go where absolutely no one knows your name, to swim out, free, untethered.
Some years ago I heard a talk about the nature of consciousness. The speaker started by asking us to picture the last time we went swimming. After giving us a moment to think, he noted that most people see an image of themselves swimming, taking the point of view of someone else watching them. This thought-exercise had something to do with our development of consciousness, but I don’t remember exactly what, because I was thinking about swimming. And I decided that when I swim, I would be mindful of what I see and not think about what I look like.
Here is what I see in deep water. The color of the water darkens to spruce green as we move away from land. When I breathe to the side, I see light sparkle on the surface. When I sight in front of me, I see the long expanse of water and beyond it the soft blue of mountains.
Last September I went for a long swim with my friend B, who kayaked for me. I like B a lot. He’s the kind of guy who takes you out on a three-mile swim to a beautiful waterfall, and when you get there, says, “I know a better one, if you’re willing to go a little farther,” as if there’s any chance you’d say no. We were out in deep water when I felt something buzzing around me. It was a dragonfly. I stopped to look at it, and it landed on me, on my arm, in the middle of the lake.
It’s December now. It’s cold. I’m swimming inside. But sometimes I think about how I was once an island for a tired dragonfly flying across a lake.
That’s what it’s like, swimming in deep water.